9.1 No one talk to her she smells like an old ham sandwich.

This week in the world new communication technology we learnt;

- The importance of not walking out on a lecture
- Asswink50 is not a good file name
- The necessity of good metaphors, similes and antidotes
- & how to teach yourself a new program (i.e. Abode Flash)

Put into easy to understand “STEPS”
*Gasp*

Step 1- Figure out what you need to do and find the best software package for it. - Like when people get home & car insure when they live in a box & skip down the road

Step 2- Explore different software. – Don’t just pick the one with the cutest puppy logo, there’s a reason its cheap – coz its crap.

Step 3- How to use the software? – If you need to get out your encyclopaedia just to read the title you might wanna take it as a sign. Its just not gunna happen baby.

Step 4- You cannot learn it all right away, any good software should take years to be able to fully understand all the functions. – Depressing yes, but picture the light at the end of your never ending tunnel….

Step 5- Don't be scared, play around with it – Not on your mums only copy of her wedding photo but that stupid duck photo you found on photobucket, knock yourself out.

Step 6- Begin with the basics functions that you are farmiliar with, theres probably about 20% of the operations you know from other programs. – Save, Open, Cut, Copy its all much of a muchness.

Step 7- Save your work constantly! Do not save over the same file. Always have multiple versions and save in a name you can remember and one that makes sense to you. - File 1 = BAD coz by your file 100 your screwed. Long file names aint good either; New Communication Technology 2009 Semester 2 Griffith University Assignment 1. Ah no. Shorten the title of your work for your file name NCT 1. (Genius right?)

Step 8- Use the help file... – Yes the one everyone thinks means you’re an idiotic loser. Unless you get one of those programs that needs to have the help section downloaded separately & then they gouge you for more money, then you can forget it.

Step 9- The help section sucks! Most are designed for people who are advanced in the software and are thus not very useful for novices. – Ignore step 8.

Step 10- Don’t get stuck on one thing, keep swiming and search in different places e.g. different sites through Google. Find specific sites and don’t pay for anything, just keep searching - Cant get the monkeys head onto your little brothers body, its cool, Google it, there will be someone as special as you who has done it & felt the need to tell everyoneeee.

Step 11- Join forums and ask questions. - People love braging about what they know & you dont, but if it’s already been asked don’t ask again, they don’t like that. Also if you’re in a forum where no one else’s questions have been answered don’t feel all special & think they will answer yours, they won’t.

Step 12- Don’t fear tutorial books and video tutorials. Use them but do not pay for them. - Fear the crazy people who took the time to sit down and make them.

Step 13- Don’t take a course about it because you can find it all free online anyway. Courses like this huh?

Step 14- When you learn one kind of software, another will soon come out and replace it. – Don’t learn it and you won’t have that problem. Or just don’t upload the next upgrade. (DUH)

Step 15- It’s all about content. If you create something that’s easy then everyone else will be able to do it too. – Push yourselves people, everyone’s seen a monkey-boy.

Oh so educational.

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